i’ve been asking myself what it looks like/how to be a light at work. how to stand up for my faith when colleagues make passing judgments about religion. how to react when they poke fun at the patient whose pain is apparently relieved through the power of Jesus. how to be kind. how to be loving and honest, professional and vulnerable, gentle, yet firm. more than just mentioning that yes, I go to church. more than watching my language. more than silently praying for the patient in front of me. how to be more like Jesus while knowing that He did an impossible thing yet knowing that i still have to try.
the church doesn’t exist for you, you are the church existing for the world.
i took the day off because i quickly learned that time (my sanity) is more precious than making a few extra dollars. i mean i could use the money with all the flights and bridal obligations (a privilege, but let’s be real). still, i choose mental health. i’m at this super chill cafè with my books, papers, journal, bills – all sprawled out – slightly panicked but oddly refreshed because i’m listening to some good good music, reflecting on a good good Father.
lately, i really feel 28. it feels good. i know i’m not in control of anything. i’m not aimless, but i’m also unsure where i’m going to end up. i’m not comfortable, but that’s the best part. if God’s trust was a pool, i refused to go in. thanks for pushing me in. thanks for the time You’re giving me to learn how to swim. I took some hefty gulps of water, but i know You’ll never let me drown.
head first this time.